I have been a relationship counselor for 44 years, specializing in how the bond with our primary attachment figures impacts our adult intimacy dynamics. Our childhood experiences and develop...
by Carista Luminare, Ph.D. When you feel neglected by your partner, it’s often because someone is unaware or suppressing one or more essential human needs. All people share ...
By Carista Luminare, Ph.D. [Read Part One] All human beings have similar core needs, whether we’re infants or adults. Some of the most important needs include care and attention......
The missing key to loving – and being loved. We thrive most in relationships when we feel appreciated, accepted, and connected. When we feel rejected or devalued, we’re likely to......
Most of us are somewhat confused about love. We yearn for love, and we need love. But what does healthy love look like? And how can we create it? Our......
Has this ever happened to you? You’re having a perfectly normal conversation with your partner, and suddenly one of you gets triggered into an extreme reaction. It might be a......
It took me a long time to figure this out about my relationships with women. My Dad never taught it to me because he didn’t know it. My Mom didn’t......
Narcissism = Selfishness = Egotism: Are you more focused on yourself than on your partner? [Note: In this article, I speak as a masculine man in relationship to feminine women.......
Lion Goodman, PCC and Carista Luminare, PhD . Do you and your partner always fight about the same things? All couples, even those who are the most secure and......
When it comes to love, everyone wants one thing: MORE! We all need love. And no one ever complains about having too much of it. If you want more love......
Children can be stubborn, willful, and infuriating. But maybe that isn’t such a bad thing. Whose needs are more important? Yours or your child’s? Have you ever been dominated and......
If you don’t feel secure with your partner, it’s difficult to open your heart and your body to receive the joy of love. For many people, feeling insecure in an......
We’ve all heard (or lived) some variation of this experience: The phone rings. It’s my friend, Cynthia. Cynthia of “the perfect couple with the perfect marriage.” She and her husba...
What does the word SEXY conjure up for you? Pictures of an ideal partner? Bedroom allure? A favorite sexual fantasy? As a couple, when we think of sexy, it always......
We want more sex, and better sex. It’s a universal desire, driven by ancient brain circuits that drive procreation, and our primitive needs to be held, seen, and loved. We......
Do you and your partner trigger each other into reactive patterns? Some couples slip easily into frustrating arguments. Others end up in nasty fights. Many couples turn away from each......
Why do men disappear when you really need to connect with them? This question has plagued women throughout history. One of our clients, Maria, said it this way: “We love each......
We all yearn for love – because we all need love. However, most of us are confused about love. We don’t know what healthy love is, or what it’s not.......
If narcissism were a disease, it would be considered a pandemic. Our culture not only condones selfishness, but celebrates it as a virtue. Materialism, driven by corporate interests and adve...
I was greeted this morning by a love note from my beloved. He had woken up, watched me sleep, and then wrote an essay about love. He read it to......
I admit it: I am a recovering narcissist. Much of my life energy was spent in pursuit of what I wanted, what I needed, and what I thought was best.......
I woke up in bed, opened my eyes, and turned to look at my partner, Carista. She was still sleeping, one arm over her eyes, breathing softly. I felt my......
