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Home
LoveStyle™ Profile
Couples Intensive
Courses
Blogs
Media
Counseling
About
Contact
Sign up and take the LoveStyle™ Profile Assessment
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6
- Register Now for the LoveStyles Profile
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The LoveStyle Profile will help you understand your particular LoveStyle, and how (and why) you interact with your partner the way you do.
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Are you currently in a relationship?
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Would you describe it as a 'committed' relationship?
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Do you have a commitment to sexual monogamy?
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The LoveStyle™ Profile
How Secure Are You In Your Relationship? In every relationship, there is a wide spectrum of feelings that stretch from
completely secure
on one end to
completely insecure
on the other. You've probably experienced a wide variety of feelings along this spectrum in each of your past relationships.
Feelings can change rapidly, especially when you get triggered, or when you and your partner spark a cycle of escalated upset. Your moods and feelings change, and so do the circumstances that can shift feelings from one side of this spectrum to the other.
There are four primary LoveStyles: one called
Secure
and three categories of
Insecure
. This section will identify where you are, on average, within the spectrum that ranges from the most secure to the most insecure.
Mark your answers anywhere along the line.
Answer these questions in the context of “usually” or “most of the time" in your current relationship. Since relationships can change over time, your answers should reflect the past year.
If you're
not
currently in a relationship, answer the questions with your
most recent partner(s)
in mind.
You'll receive your LoveStyle Report as soon as you complete the Profile.
Note:
When you complete the Profile, please be patient when you click the "Submit" button, and wait for the Thank You page to appear. If you click away too quickly, your Report results may be inaccurate.
1. How much of the time do you feel secure in the commitment you have with your partner?
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2. How often does your partner act in ways that make you feel secure and safe?
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3. How often do you act in ways that make your partner feel safe and secure?
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4. How much of the time can you depend on your partner to reach out and connect with you when you’re upset?
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5. How much do you and your partner make each other a top priority amidst your other daily commitments?
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6. How often do you feel that your partner cares about your needs and feelings as much as they do their own?
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7. How often do you and your partner resolve conflicts and restore your love connection before going to sleep?
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The 3 Insecure LoveStyles™ If you don't have the
Secure LoveStyle
, you have one of the other three, which are collectively called
Insecure LoveStyles
.
This section identifies which of the three you have: 1)
Insecure-Anxious, 2) Insecure-Avoidant
, or 3)
Insecure-Traumatic
. Many people have more than one, and we call this the
Hybrid LoveStyle™.
Since feelings change all the time, answer each question in the context of “usually” or “most of the time.” Insecure-Anxious LoveStyle™
1. How much of the time do you feel anxious about your relationship problems?
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2. How often do you feel worried when your partner isn’t expressing their care for you?
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3. How often are you preoccupied with your partner rejecting or abandoning you?
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4. How much of the time do you need reassurance that your partner is caring for you?
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5. When you need to connect - how often do you pursue your partner?
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Insecure-Avoidant LoveStyle™
1. How often do you move away from your partner when you feel uncomfortable?
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2. When your partner triggers you, how often do you withdraw into your own space?
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3. How often do you shut down and stop caring when you’re in the middle of an argument?
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4. How much of the time are you unaware of your own needs and feelings?
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5. How much of the time are you unaware of your partner’s needs and feelings?
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1. When you get triggered, how often do you have extreme reactions that, in retrospect, seem to be out of proportion to what happened?
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2. How often do your emotions take over to the point where you feel out of control?
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3. How often do you feel scared or traumatized by your partner’s reactions?
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4. How often do you scare or traumatize your partner because of your reactions?
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5. How much of the time do you feel trapped in vicious reactive cycles?
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Please add any comments or questions:
NOTE: Due to the high number of submissions, we sometimes get a timeout error. If this occurs when you click 'submit', please click the 'back' button on your browser and then click 'submit' again. This should register your results and send you your report
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